Look at the birds

In times like this it's very easy to give in to the temptation to worry. Even last night I found myself thinking about how we will handle the process of Joella losing her hair. Of little importance, really, compared to her body and her life.

God knew I would struggle. He knows I'm prone to dwell on the details which can crowd out the truly important things. The Lord prepared me for this by studying the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7 in the Bible with my women's Bible study. There's a section in Matthew 6 subtitled, "Do Not Worry."

Matthew 6

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?"

On Wednesday of last week, I went to my Mothers of Preschoolers group in the morning. Cameron came home with artwork, as he always does, and I stuffed it in my bag because I was in a hurry.

Later that night, after we saw the bleeding in Joella's mouth, I just happened to pull out his projects. He had made a beautiful flower print. At the top of the paper it said, "Don't Worry, Be Thankful." At the bottom it said, "If God clothes the fields in such splendor, won't He take care of you?" Matthew 6:28

The next night after I was awoken from sleep with the news that my daughter probably has leukemia, I had to very quickly decide what was important to bring. I instinctively grabbed Cameron's artwork, and it's now posted in Joella's room. God's reminder.

I've only been outside once since coming to the hospital, but God has brought some wildlife to us. We have a big window with a concrete ledge just outside. There is a pair of pigeons that have claimed this ledge, and we are daily entertained by their antics and amorousness.

Matthew 6

²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

God made sure I would still look at the birds and think of Him. He is good.

Last night Joella vomited all over herself and me after taking five oral medications. The last one is notoriously bad-tasting, and it just caused her to gag. It had been just long enough to not repeat some of the doses (we spaced them out), but the last one we had to repeat. It was a very helpless feeling for me, knowing my daughter needs these medicines to treat her cancer, and not knowing how much actually made it into her system. Pray for God's grace, help and peace.

We're starting to see some mood effects of the steroids. Pray for wisdom for us to know how best to love and parent Joella.

She is scheduled for an IV chemo treatment today and could possibly go home if she's doing well. I haven't seen much improvement in her energy or ability to walk, so we'll see. Thank you for your prayers.